Why is a well-groomed new mum cause for outrage?
THERE'S something wrong with the world when we take offence at a new mum looking too nice.
But that's what happened over Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge in what has been dubbed her 'controversial Lindo Wing appearance'.
Catherine, for the three readers who have just woken from a coma (welcome back), delivered her third child and second son safely on Monday.
The problem? She had a blow-dry and put on a dress.
Her looking all tidy - which she has done twice before incidentally, and nobody minded - is putting 'unnecessary pressure' on normal women, apparently.
Please make this insanity stop.
According to critics, Kate should not have appeared with a coiffure, in a Jenny Packham dress and high heels, so soon after the delivery. She should have limped out of the maternity ward in black leggings and Ugg boots, because that's what everyone else does.
British TV presenter Katy Hill said Kate was robbed of bonding time with her baby because "her haze would have been filled with blow-dries and make-up and tights and heels and a flurry of business to get her camera ready."
The Project's Meshel Laurie said, "That's not inspiring! You know what would be inspiring? If when they came into her room and said, 'Alright mate, up you get, hair and make-up, let's get out there,' she said, 'Don't be an idiot, get out! I've just had a baby!'"
Others protested by posting photos of themselves post-birth on social media to show what real mums look like.
Seriously, the woman can't win.
Having to pose for the world's media when you take your newborn home is not exactly normal, so of course you are going to put a bit of make-up on if your photo is going to be printed into posterity.
And she had her hair done: So what? I would have done too if I could. I reckon if maternity units offered a free blow-dry after that first post-partum shower it would be a winner. There are no words to adequately describe how disgusting you feel.
Granted, stilettos are not most new mums' first choice of footwear, although I know more than one high-profile Australian that left the maternity ward in Manolos. And putting on a dress - how is that controversial? I went home in dresses after giving birth to my children - they're really comfortable.
Can we stop finding stupid things to be outraged about? (Admittedly this might put me out of business). But really, are we all such imbeciles that we start panicking we didn't look as immaculate as a member of the Royal Family post-birth?
In the scheme of things, 'Woman wears a dress and has nice hair when she takes her baby home' is not something to get your knickers in a knot about.
No, save the indignation for when she appears in six weeks' time with a flat stomach. Or possibly attends Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding in three weeks.
Then things will get royally bitter on Twitter.