Things have certainly changed in classrooms since 60 years ago.
Things have certainly changed in classrooms since 60 years ago. Oleksandr Kuznetsov

School is in with a whole new set of rules

Folks, last week my granddaughter started "big kid's school”. Boy, they're in for an education!

Anyway, it's been many years since I stumbled through the ol' school gate for the last time. I can still remember the taunts, jeers and catcalls. You know, my teachers wouldn't get away with that nowadays.

Also absent would be the frequent violence that seemed to be the first, and preferred, method of child control. I'm usually the first to congratulate anyone who loves their job, but not the sadistic teachers who really relished flogging us.

Yet, according to my parents, we had it easy and, by comparison, I suppose we did.

My father can still vividly recall the day, more than 60 years ago, when the student sitting next to him was knocked unconscious by a well-aimed, wooden, blackboard duster. He was then left to lie twitching on the floor as a warning to anyone else who wanted the teacher's undivided attention.

Happily, my granddaughter will never see anything like that. Well, I'm pretty sure she won't, as wooden blackboard dusters have gone the way of the typewriter and slide rule. But, as I said, it's been a while since I was in school.

Come to think of it, I don't know how they punish kids these days? Timeouts? Time ins? Take their phones off them? Extra homework? Make them write and recite an inspirational poem? Employ sharp irony? Force the really bad kids to listen to the collected works of Phil Collins - twice? Actually, nobody deserves that.

What I do know is, this week, the little tacker begins her long journey learning how to read, write and hopefully do maths well enough to help her grandad fiddle his taxes - sorry, maximise my returns.

Obviously, we're not going to let the teachers do all the heavy lifting. We'll all pitch in to help her along the way to becoming a fully functioning adult. My job is to make sure she doesn't accidentally watch Parliament Question Time. Now that's one classroom that needs a naughty corner, or some dead-eye dick teacher armed with wooden blackboard dusters.

Find Greg Bray at gregbraywriter.word or Facebook: Greg Bray - writer