How to screw Aussie artists and ruin Anzac day

End of the highway looms for Holden

Car manufacturer Holden faces closure as its US masters at GM do the math on the domestic car industry.

Losing the Aussie icon would be a blow to cross-sector jobs, the national economy, and the numerous foreign car makers that Holden rebadges as Australian each year.

Industry figures are at a loss to explain why marketing muscle-cars to an environmentally conscious market hadn't killed the manufacturer years ago.

Zero-emission car ad featuring man attempting suicide pulled

A Hyundai ad showing a man's failed attempted at suicide has been pulled after online backlash proved the ad had done its job earlier than expected.

The ad shows a man trying to kill himself with a hose from his exhaust pipe but failing because of how clean the exhaust gases are.

The controversy is rumoured to have netted the advertising agency behind the campaign five awards and a contract for Clive Palmer's election campaign.

Revealed: News reporter is the worst job in the world

Job website has ranked 200 careers from best to worst, with news reporter ranked as the worst job in the world.

Judges considered physical demands, income, stress, work environment and hiring outlook when confirming that everyone has it better than journalists.

When asked for comment, the journalist next to me twitched before staring into the abyss of his lost hopes and dreams.

New IP reforms raise the bar

Changes to intellectual property and copyright laws come into effect this month after years of lobbying by US content owners.

"There just haven't been enough ways to ruin the lives of teenagers downloading music," explained an RIAA spokesperson.

The Act, known as 'Raising the Bar', ensures Australian artists, writers and singers will be screwed by the US quicker and more efficiently.

Businesses could pay for opening early on Anzac Day

Employment lawyer Ian Heathwood has called for leneancy for businesses that open early on Anzac Day.

Businesses face a $20,000 fine and being labelled as 'unAustralian' by online commenters as the laws have mainly affected migrant business owners who've misunderstood the complex legislation.

A state government spokesperson denied any changes were planned after visibly flinching at the words 'tolerance' and 'migrant'.