Ten reasons why I'm happy summer's over
FINALLY it's autumn and cooler mornings beckon.
If, like many people, you have spent the last six weeks saying to people 'I'm over this heat', then you're not alone.
Here's ten reasons why many people in Ipswich are glad to see the back of summer.
Some you may agree with, others may make you put your fist through the screen, so feel free to add comments below and let us know what you think. Why are you glad to see the back of summer?
1. You can sleep again
If you aren't lucky enough to have an air conditioner, then chances are you've been bleary-eyed since late November. There's nothing to you can do on a 26 degree night to cool down when you're trying to sleep, no matter how many fans you turn on.
It kills your love life, it forces you to drink copious amounts of coffee to get through the day, and there's a good reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture....that's because it sucks.
2. The sweaty shower
There's nothing worse than having a shower, stepping out all refreshed, and within three minutes there's sweat in your eyes and your back is drenched. Its gross, it's uncomfortable and is another reason why summer ruins your love life. How people put up with that all year in Thailand and The Philippines is beyond me. Yuk.
3. No more cricket
Let's be totally 100% honest here Australia.
The only reason we watch cricket over summer is because NRL and AFL are in hiatus. While the A-League and NBL seasons satisfy our needs for round ball sports to some degree, there's only so much you can take when it comes to cricket on TV day in day out. There's test matches that go for five days, one day matches and now night after night of 20/20 means that if you don't love cricket it means you literally count the seconds till footy's back. There's another top ten there somewhere on how those blokes in the commentary box manage to talk for nine hours a day, five days in a row about 14 blokes standing in a field scratching their privates for hours on end and taking endless drink breaks…..a bit like Question Time in Canberra.
4. Non-ratings TV
With SO much good TV in the world at the moment, why is it every summer we are forced to watch National Lampoon's Vacation for the 3,452th time? Seriously people, who hasn't seen that movie by now? Then it's followed by European Vacation, Christmas Vacation, and then endless repeats of Big Bang Theory. TV networks whinge and moan that nobody is watching and THIS is what they offer up? No wonder the likes of Netflix, Stan and Foxtel are making a killing at the moment. We have a choice TV networks, and in summer you're not even close.
5. LAMP (Look At Me Please)
At least now summer's over you don't have to scroll through social media while sitting in a pool of your own sweat watching everyone else at the beach, in their pool or having a tasty cool freshly made Gelato that they just HAD to post pics of online. Ugh. Show offs.
6. The temperatures are just right
You know the best seasons in Ipswich? Autumn and spring. The reason is that the mornings are nice and cool, while the days hover between 25 to 31 degrees. Just perfect. Unlike summer where you can die from skin cancer just by walking to the shop to get a Paddle Pop. Ouch.
7. Evil Mother Nature
Drive around Ipswich at the moment and you can still see downed trees and homes without a roof thanks to storms at the height of summer. While storms are great to drop the temperatures for a few hours, they can cause damage and take lives at the drop of a hat. You can be storm 'ready', but when a severe storm hits there's nothing you can do about it than ride it out. We may be used to them in Ipswich, but it doesn't mean we enjoy them.
8. The summer power bill
If you are lucky enough to have air conditioning, chances are you know about this one. With kids on holidays while you're at work all day, or spending time at home over Christmas, those CEO's at the power companies rub their hands with glee when they see temps hit over 35 degrees. Why? With some of the most expensive power rates in the Western World, every minute of running air cons sends your bill through the roof. While investing in solar does make sense, not everyone can afford the initial outlay, so you have to live on bread and cheese for all of February to pay the power bill.
Cheddar or Edam sir?
9. Shopping with the crowds
On a hot summer's day most people have the same idea…spend all day the nearest shopping centre. If you are lucky enough to find a car park, you're drenched in sweat by the time you hit the escalators because you parked so far away you're already thinking of packing some snacks for the walk back. Then there's the crowds as people roam around aimlessly killing time because they don't have air conditioning at home. Add to that the Christmas period and post-Christmas sales plus the post-Christmas-post-Christmas-Early-Easter sales, and it's a recipe for high blood pressure as you have to stand for fifteen minutes waiting for a shopping trolley because 50% of them are currently in use, mostly filled with toddlers.
10. Fake tans
The whole point of a fake tan is to look like you have a tan without spending hours in the sun, but the truth is there are so many people on MTV or in nightclubs wandering around that are frankly Fifty Shades of Orange. If you don't believe me watch any episode of Real Housewives or The Kardashians.
This is the skin cancer capital of the world and melanomas will kill you people, so be pasty white and proud of it or get a subtle fake tan. Don't go over the top and ask for a 'Donald Trump'