How to react if your employee turns out to be a bikie

Dear How Do I: Business?

I've been running AAA Aardvark Tow Trucks since Joh was in power and I have a problem with these new bikie laws.

I've got three bikies working for me. They turn up on time, they do their job and they have their own transport. Now the police have raided me and told me I need to get rid of them. What can I do? This is too much.

What next? My gay disabled Aboriginal son goes to jail for riding a push-bike?


Rob Timmo


Dear Rob

You need to get rid of them.

What kind of honest man supports bikies?

For goodness sake, the Attorney-General is not wrong when he says that supporting these monsters is like supporting paedophiles.

Our lord and saviour Campbell Newman hath said: "Lo, four wheels good, two wheels bad."

His son, Jarrod of Bleijie has made it clear in Hansard 2013: 9-10, "He who shall be a bikie, must be consumed by hell and pink clothing".

And what's this about a push-bike?

You know that's a gateway to motorbikes!

Please tell me he hasn't started using lycra.

For the love of Joh, Rob, please think of the children, but not like that.

Due to an influx of people believing that Campbell Newman's official title is "Lord and Savior" and that Jarrod Bleijie is his son, we remind readers that this column is and always has been satire - the hate mail is hilarious but unnecessary.